how i wish they'd understand..

greetings..

the exam board meeting was over. that's a relief.. holiday finally begins~*

i wish it was as simple as that. looking at students' marks.. i felt sad. i felt disappointed.
i understand that everybody wants a 4 flat. who wouldn't?
what people do not get that is that why couldn't students easily score A for English? it's just English..

yeah right.

I couldn't possibly give everybody an A. A means you are proficient English user. ask yourselves dearies, are you that proficient that you deserve an A? I wish that i could tell them, if could bring your grade lower i would because you do not deserve a A, even A-. But considering the fact that you have a scholarship in jeopardy, i gave you higher marks! It saddens me because I'm partly lying about your real proficiency giving you false assumption altogether.

I felt guilty that you couldn't get an A.. but that's reality. That's real academic life. we are way beyond high schools. that's the fact.

anyways, something could be done about this. it's your effort plus mine. we shall make it work.

pure laziness~*

greetings!

i have so many things to tell.. but then, it's the M syndrome!

well, for the first time in my life.. my teaching file is complete! i'm so proud of myself.. i wrote all the lesson plans and compiled everything. i took me almost one agonizing week. but finally I"M DONE!!!

ok next semester, i'll keep the files updated. Pinky swear!

my hopes and dreams so far is to take my family to go on holiday.. can't wait for the cash to come in and then we're off! this time round i think the MIL is coming along.. there's no one home to keep her company so why not rite? she takes good care of zarief.

ermm.. i need to constantly remind myself because sometimes i tend to be selfish and wanting everything for myself or my son. you know, i wish that i could home school zarief and i could beat the kids who make my son cry. but i don't want the kids' parents to hit zarief if he makes them cry. get it? i wish that i could have my own house with all new things that i bought.. i'm incharge of everything because that's my home right? there will be just US. but then i knew for a fact that my husband has to take care of his mum and she's has to stick to us. i cringe at the fact everytime.. but then, i do not want zarief to have a bad wife in the future who dislikes me. so i have to treat my MIL nicely. and i want my husband to be a good son just like i want zarief to be a good son.

even though sometimes i felt that this is all INSANE.. this is life. the key to my sanity is believing that Allah will reward all kinds of good deeds. The rewards will come in many forms and eventually i would feel my life is easy. everything works out fine.. i feel happy and calm.

that's why i need to keep reminding myself this. i have to be nice to people no matter how annoying or difficult they are. if the make me sad or unhappy, i know that Allah knows better.

ok.. now i'm relieved! back to packing we are going to KUALA NERANG! yippee! i'm going to be nice to my husband and son today.. =)