how i wish they'd understand..

greetings..

the exam board meeting was over. that's a relief.. holiday finally begins~*

i wish it was as simple as that. looking at students' marks.. i felt sad. i felt disappointed.
i understand that everybody wants a 4 flat. who wouldn't?
what people do not get that is that why couldn't students easily score A for English? it's just English..

yeah right.

I couldn't possibly give everybody an A. A means you are proficient English user. ask yourselves dearies, are you that proficient that you deserve an A? I wish that i could tell them, if could bring your grade lower i would because you do not deserve a A, even A-. But considering the fact that you have a scholarship in jeopardy, i gave you higher marks! It saddens me because I'm partly lying about your real proficiency giving you false assumption altogether.

I felt guilty that you couldn't get an A.. but that's reality. That's real academic life. we are way beyond high schools. that's the fact.

anyways, something could be done about this. it's your effort plus mine. we shall make it work.

pure laziness~*

greetings!

i have so many things to tell.. but then, it's the M syndrome!

well, for the first time in my life.. my teaching file is complete! i'm so proud of myself.. i wrote all the lesson plans and compiled everything. i took me almost one agonizing week. but finally I"M DONE!!!

ok next semester, i'll keep the files updated. Pinky swear!

my hopes and dreams so far is to take my family to go on holiday.. can't wait for the cash to come in and then we're off! this time round i think the MIL is coming along.. there's no one home to keep her company so why not rite? she takes good care of zarief.

ermm.. i need to constantly remind myself because sometimes i tend to be selfish and wanting everything for myself or my son. you know, i wish that i could home school zarief and i could beat the kids who make my son cry. but i don't want the kids' parents to hit zarief if he makes them cry. get it? i wish that i could have my own house with all new things that i bought.. i'm incharge of everything because that's my home right? there will be just US. but then i knew for a fact that my husband has to take care of his mum and she's has to stick to us. i cringe at the fact everytime.. but then, i do not want zarief to have a bad wife in the future who dislikes me. so i have to treat my MIL nicely. and i want my husband to be a good son just like i want zarief to be a good son.

even though sometimes i felt that this is all INSANE.. this is life. the key to my sanity is believing that Allah will reward all kinds of good deeds. The rewards will come in many forms and eventually i would feel my life is easy. everything works out fine.. i feel happy and calm.

that's why i need to keep reminding myself this. i have to be nice to people no matter how annoying or difficult they are. if the make me sad or unhappy, i know that Allah knows better.

ok.. now i'm relieved! back to packing we are going to KUALA NERANG! yippee! i'm going to be nice to my husband and son today.. =)

a long delayed post..

salam..
as related to the title.. this is going to be long.
i am at pjsentosa campsite on a saturday. BRAVO! (pun intended). since the rest of the teachers are preparing materials and i'm one lucky observer today. i got time to blog!

ok where do i start?

1) work
work is quite ok. at times i did question myself why do i become a teacher. but when class ended i always get the answer. it's kind of rewarding though. i admit a teacher isn't always perfect. sometimes when i'm not in the zone, i tend to be mean to people. but that happens very rarely.. i promise! teheee =) anyways, filing and lesson plans SUCK like always. hahaha

2) zarief
zarief is so much fun! i miss him everytime he's not around me and i miss him when he's asleep. september has been very challenging for him. he was sick every week.. luckily nothing serious. but it made us worried. he can take his medicine really well now.. which is for me a big achievement because his meds tasted like HELL. they were so bitter and the taste kinda mingled in your mouth after taking them!!

he just had his 1st bday. and he walks like a pro by now which means mummy and abah would have to chase after him around the malls.. ok sometimes i let the daddy did all the chasing while i shop. more like most of the time actually.. hehehe
one important note that he likes to kiss babies on the diaper packs and on the wet tissue packs.. is he ready for a brother/sister? hehehe

3) myself
i am used to the morning driving routine already. sometimes the long hours of driving made me sleepy. and i have to munch something. now it affects my weight. i'm huge!! *bawls*

ok *wiping tears* lets move on.. i seriously need to lose weight. i'm ready to conceive again.. i pray to Allah that he will grant me another rezeki.. Allah is most gracious, the most merciful.

i guess that's all for now. i have a lot in mind but somehow it doesnt really translate in writing.. hehehehe till next time peeps!

oh yeah, i really love the song moves like jagger and something that has 'who do you think you are, running round leaving scars' that really made me awake while driving!

have a wonderful day ahead! take care!

salam peeps..
it's first syawal and i'm waiting for zarief to wake up. raya this year is great bcoz zarief finally has a baju melayu. this year's theme colour is brick..woodbrick or sth loke that. pheww its hard to blog usog a phone u see. prpbably i jave fat fingrs!haha ok thT really kills the mood bot hoobg to erew what ive yped.geram aku any seriusly yis os nbot duny
Lantakeaya

i have so many things going on around me.. but i choose not jump in the bandwagon. i choose to sit at the bus stop but not riding any.

i wonder sometimes.. where do i start?

declutter..
declutter..

i'm disappointed with myself for choosing to sit at the bus stop!

come on..

ting tong

ohh..if i could have a day to myself and rest and rest and rest.

yesterday was crazy. we had to make calls to the 2 intake group all 61 of them.

crazy? yes indeed. we finished the phone calls at 8pm. i was dead hungry and tired. i drove home anyways. alhamdulillah, i arrived home safely. pumped and slept like a log. yeah i didn't take my bath. yucky? i know.. i had horrible dreams but i was sleepy. i don't care.

this morning was rather easy. alhamdullilah. zarief woke up without crying and sat on the bed quietly. then, i did the chores etc. and drove to school.

now i'm at work..and feeling tired still..
can't wait for tomorrow..friday!

bangi oh bangi

am home.. arrived on monday night. i was super exhausted from the journey that on tuesday i was a zombie.

so, wednesday i'm back in action. haha

well, bangi was fun. i mean the 4th PC. glad i could attend the event and even happier we had wonderful teams! adjudicating was fun too.. but i guess most of the debaters i adjudicated were more interested in matter rather than language. but then, it was a good exposure to all of them. being in the debate comp. reminds me why i'm never a debater anyhow..

accomodation wise was so-so. despite the fact that the place looks like rumah tumpangan ah seong and its pedestal WC..haha it's pretty near to MFI.. but then all EBM is discarded because they do not have fridge in the room.. sigh!

shopping and dining was good though! we went to alamanda and klcc.. and had sushi!! awesomeness!

what's more interesting this time round was we were the champion and the other team came 3rd.. they are good and really deserve to win. of course there were some sore losers which i shall not name but to me it was very immature and rallying the other team against our winning junior team is even more immature.. i now know your true colours and just so you know, i don't like it.

next year, the debate will be held in MICET.. which i cant wait to form teams and rock the debate again. hahaha

presenting the champion of all..

my imam muda zarief.. =)

and presenting our champion of 4th President's Cup Debate 2011:

u guys made us proud!

random post

i don't know where to start.. since it's random.. i don't care..
a lil bit serabut inside, sometimes it's suffocating.
1)my etiqa insurance.. i regret using m.y.e.g.
2)miss my old friends.. some have changed 360.. glad that everybody is doing so well now..
3)hungry..
4)am so lazy to drive home.. couldn't wait to cuddle the bb but it's the journey i couldn't stand..
5)i wanted to learn sewing. but when and how?
6)realised that i don't have special talent..so i need to get one. hence, no.5
7)never knew that sewing machine costs a bomb..
8)in need of a fully auto w/machine..
9)couldn't tahan the cats and nyamuk at home.. goodness!
10)my appointment with the gynea..
11)too lazy to pump now..

and the list goes on.. i feel so malas to even type them..
tomorrow is holiday, and i feel like crap. wtf!

zarief is 9 months old~* yippee!!

well, actually it's tomorrow, but mummy is super excited.. tehee

since, i'm still on leave this morning we brought zarief to the clinic for a longgg due check up and weighing. the last time he weighed 7.41kg.. but i knew he gained weight because he's tad heavier i couldn't stand dukung him for more than 15 mins.. so he weighed 8.57kg.. hehehe. alhamdulillah a healthy strong young boy, despite the runny nose now.. he's as active as ever..

emm, milestones so far, he can
1) creep at fast speed..
2) hold to an object and stand
3) cruise along the furniture
4) babble in his language
5) push his water basin, it's quite heavy mind you
6) understand NO but always tests mummy's patience anyways..
7) grab and pick up objects
8) sit like a pro
9) manouver the steering wheel.. pheww..

many more things actually, but it's an amazement to see him grow everyday. =)

i spent 3 weeks with him and i can tell, i'll be a garang mummy. abah has a lot more patience dealing with zarief.. hehe he's a handful sometimes especially when we are left alone. he dislikes when i am not around so he'll cry.. he's very manja when he's with mummy but not really with abah.. hehehe

oh yeah, he now drinks mummy's milk and also anmum step 2.. but of course there nothing more satisfying than mummy's milk for him.. i felt guilty sometimes but it has to be done as i'll be away for a few days.. my biggest concern was his milk supply.. and now i hope that he could consume anmum during the day and EBM at night.. insyaAllah..

oh, i should buy the material for his baju melayu and abah's too.. this year's raya is going to be so much fun with zarief around! hehehe

mummy loves you zarief!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!

alhamdulillah..
i'm 28years old! yippee =)..

in another 2 years, i guess i'll stop announcing my age.. hahaha.. anyways, today has been great so far.. my baby and i are down with flu.. and he has been roaming around the house in his walker while waiting for me to be done with this entry.. opps he pulled something on the bag and made a mess..again.. poor baby, i guess he needs to see somebody else around rather than seeing only mummy..

anyways, my wishes this year is to be a better muslimah, a better wife, a better daughter, a better mummy and a better teacher..

insyaallah. =)

My little guy is 8 months old!

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..
Zarief is 8 months old already.. and he's one healthy and happy baby.. When he sleeps at night, i always stare at his calm face and thought, 'I couldn't believe I have a baby'..

Ya Allah, he is the reason for me to be closer to Allah. When I was pregnant, i found myself closer to the Creator. I prayed for the pregnancy to be smooth sailing, i prayed for many things and Allah answered my prayers. Alhamdulillah..

Having Zarief in my life thought me a lot about patience and love. sometimes, i couldn't understand why he cries in his sleep but i wish that i could take his sadness away. Leaving him every morning is painful to me because i wish i could stay home and be with him, but i have to earn a living. i know my Zareif would understand this. sometimes i was angry at him but then i thought to myself (after a longgg while) who am i to be angry at the innocent litle baby? he is a gift from Allah, the biggest amanah that i have to shoulder. I'm so sorry zarief.. Mummy loves you.. and i felt more guilty when i'm short tempered with him because all he wants is my attention after being away from mummy the whole day.. What's more when looking at his smile when i come home, the way his body jolts for me to take him in my arms, to kiss and hold him, to whisper in his little ears that'Mummy sayang Zarief sgt'.. How could I?

Forgive me Ya Allah.. I've sinned. Forgive mummy zarief for not being patient.

Mummy loves you no matter what.. Sungguh..

My Baby Son is 7 months old..

Assalamualaikum..

Greetings all..

My baby son is 7 months old.. alhamdulillah. he is one healthy and active boy. pheww.. putting on a diaper means wrestling him to lay still.. hehehe but he's a sweetheart after that.

let's look at his milestones so far:
1) he grasps on one object and he could transfer to the other until he drops it..
2) he babbles a lot.. in his language. accidentally called abah a few times.. but i don't consider it as his first word until he said 'mummy'..teehee =)
3) he still feeds on mummy's milk and cereal and rice porridge.. not a keen eater though.
4) travels on his walker like a pro.. he could literally run a little when he's chasing something interesting.
5) he sleeps in the middle but he prefers abah apparently.. leaving mummy quite some space while abah is sandwiched between him and the wall..
6)he enjoys evening ride with abah and mummy..
7)he's not really friendly with strangers..he gazes into the strangers' eyes for quite some time before they could take him

i pray that he'll grow up to be healthy, happy, kind and obedient.. amin

happy 7 months old baby.. here's for u!! MMMMUUAHHHHHH!

My Cheese Cake Experience

assalamualaikum & greetings all.. i'm a crazy fan of cheese cake. anytime is cheese cake time for me.. so far, i've spent quite a lot to eat cheese cake.. well 6.50 per slice isn't cheap ok.. might as well do it myself.. ahahaha.. (k.rose must be laughing out loud and probably is rolling on the floor now.. tsk!) anyway, i browsed for the recipe. and i found out one!! yippee~* it's a simple recipe and it tastes AWESOME! so i'll share with everybody.. easy peasy lemon squeezy!! if i can do it so can you! *that's the tagline for today* here it is: Ingredients: 1 pack of Philadelphia Cream Cheese 1/2 cup of castor sugar 1 small tub of plain yoghurt 3 tea spoons of gelatine melted in 1/4 cup of hot water (i use Halagel brand) 1 1/2 pack of Oreo cookies (separate the cookies and the cream) 50 grams butter Methods: 1. Prepare the base of the cheese cake a) Blend 1 pack of oreo. b) melt the butter. c) mix oreo + butter d) spread & press it in the bottom of the pan. e) refrigerate until it harden.

2. Prepare the filling

a) Beat the cream cheese + yoghurt + gelatine + cream of the Oreo + sugar with the mixer until the batter becomes thick and fluffy.

b) pour the batter on the base. Spread the balance of blended oreo on top. c) chill in the fridge overnight until it hardens.

d) Enjoy!

see.. the whole preparation time was less than 1 hour.. and the result is amazing!

please try. you'll love it! promise.

my little son aged half a year..

assalamualaikum..

greetings all..

*this post is 9 days delayed* sorry!!

today notes a huge milestone for me as a mummy.. my zarief is six months old.. =) no words could describe my feelings; i guess Alhamdulillah expresses all.. so far, zarief at 6 months old never fails to fascinate me..

now this is today: zarief is 6 months and 6 days old..

he got his Hep B shot last Tuesday. This boy is very funny.. he played and squealed with delight during the consultation with the nurse and remained playful while waiting for the nurse to prepare the shot.. then it was the time that he was laid down, and i held his squirming hands and his strong feet.. he screamed and cried really loud when the needle pricked his soft thigh.. haiiih.. it saddened me to see his tears rolling down on his cheeks. but i have to toughen up..

anyway, the crying stopped almost immediately after we went out from the clinic. =)

see my litle drama king.. (very mummy like.. thehehe)

so far, zarief has been really ill once.. it broke my heart to see him restless and uncomfortable. he had common cold with blocked nose. the mucus had to be sucked out twice.. but the sad episodes were over. i really pray for his health.. well, come to think of it, my son had flu and i went bonkers.. what about the mothers with ailing children out there? i can never imagine how they'd feel.. may Allah ease their burden amin..

what else, zarief is a chatter box, but no with strangers. he wakes up everyday with a big smile when we greeted him with salam.. he babbles in his language when he plays.. and he has the sweetest smile and this really big laugh! =) i miss him so much now..

oh, his likes to put things (preferably clothes, sometimes his girrafe) on his head and pretended that he can't breath..he'll laugh when he pulled the things away.. funny boy!

so zarief, you are my life. you gave me a new meaning of life.. mummy apologizes for shouting at you sometimes especially when you revolted when mummy wants to put your diaper on and when you refused to eat your cereal.. hehe i'll try to be more patient with you..

zarief, mummy prays that you'll grow up healthy and strong. mummy loves you so much that i could not imagine a day without you..

Thank you Allah for lending him to me.. I'm most grateful.. Please let me have him at least until I die.. Amin.

my little sunshine~*

my lil sunshine is down with flu~*

assalamualaikum..

i never worry that much before..

zarief has flu..he sneezes very frequently.. haihh..

wednesday night was the longest night for me.. zarief couldn't sleep because he couldn't breathe..
he woke up evey two hours, rolling on his stomach and cried.. it broke my heart everytime..

thursday morning, we went to the clinic, his temperature was rising, he had slight fever. after 2 hours of waiting, his nose was not blocked anymore as the paed sucked everything out.. even though he cried bloody murder that time he could sleep comfortably after that. that night he was feverish so i gave him the med and wet his head with air asam jawa to cool the body..

friday, he looked a lot better.. his fever bade farewell but not the flu..

saturday, the flu was still around but his nose wasn't runny anymore. still blocked nose, he had to breathe using the mouth which is heart wrenching to look at..

above all, zarief is a very good baby boy.. he smiles sweetly even though he's not well. enjoys scratching everything still.. and drank his milk like usual.. alhamdulillah.

baby, mummy prays that you'll be healthier.. mummy am so sorry for not being able to ease your pain.. i tried to make you feel comfortable..hope that worked.. get well soon sayang! mummy am soooo worried.. we shall go through this together yeah.. it's a test from Allah because He loves us.. i know my baby boy is ever strong! Zarief is a strong survivor..

i love you zarief, with all my being.

you are my little sunshine..

mummy loves you so much zarief!

why women are always blamed..

assalamualaikum all..

i was ironing the pile of working attire this morning and it suddenly hit me..

why women are always blamed?

recently, i was told that a lady that i know found out that her husband is seeing another lady.. what occurred to me was: the guy is seriously insane and also ungrateful. i mean they have a kid together. the husband rarely sees the kid as they are not living together and from what i see, the kid feels awkward to be around the dad.

of course there two sides to every story.. but whatever the reasons are :you shouldn't cheat to your other half.

what would you do if somebody comes to you and tell you this? how would you react?

if you come to me with this kind of problem.. i would offer you sympathy and i would listen to your story without judging you and i will not take side. i wouldn't tell you to lose your weight, give you ridiculous tips regarding the intimate issues, and i would never tell you that you are the reason why your husband starts to look for another girl.

sometimes, people are very judgemental. who are we to judge anybody when Allah knows better?

i pray to Allah that my husband and i will be forever faithful to each other. amin.

mummyhood by ME!

assalamualaikum..

greetings all..

today when the kids were doing their essay, i was thinking about the happiest day of my life as well. well, for me i couldn't pick a specific day.. there many days that i felt like i'm on top of the world!

i think the title of the essay should have been.. the happiest day of my life so far..thehehe..

mine so far is the day i was awarded by God the title 'mum'.. so far nothing beats that feeling.. it probably will when zarief utters the word 'mummy' later.. =)

initially, i really don't get why being a mum is exciting.. and i felt that i wasn't ready to embrace motherhood.. until i found out that i was pregnant. well, since being pregnant is a total bliss for me (minus the monthly finger pricking.. tsk!) and a pregger should always be positive, i didn't really prepare myself for the worst. and then the bundle of joy arrived.. that changed my life totally! i mean you have a tiny helpless baby who depends on you to live now..

remember the part that i said about not ready to embrace motherhood and not really preparing for the worst? well, those are total CRAP! whether you're ready or not, expect it or unexpect it.. the baby is here and he is the boss now. so the best thing for me to do was to take it one step at a time. i admit it's easier said than done.. at first i thought the baby was so alien and i still can't believe that he's mine. i bade farewell to the long 8 hours of sleeping when i was pregnant.. now i wake up every two hours for feeding. bahaha..

please do not be mistaken for the feelings that i had for my baby. he's never a burden.. even when he wailed his lung out and cry bloody murder, even he refused to sleep when i was really tired.. you'll love him no matter what.. i think only mummies could do that.. mummies get lesser sleep but praise to Allah that it's sufficient still..

that's why mummyhood is very challenging yet rewarding.. i pray that all my friends will be able to experience mummyhood because there are not enough words to describe it. for me it involve lots of sacrifices and tears too.. =) and i'm sure all the mummies have different experiences but still they are priceless!

i'm enjoying mummyhood to the max! alhamdulillah.

toodles!