Assalamualaikum..Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..
Zarief is 8 months old already.. and he's one healthy and happy baby.. When he sleeps at night, i always stare at his calm face and thought, 'I couldn't believe I have a baby'..
Ya Allah, he is the reason for me to be closer to Allah. When I was pregnant, i found myself closer to the Creator. I prayed for the pregnancy to be smooth sailing, i prayed for many things and Allah answered my prayers. Alhamdulillah..
Having Zarief in my life thought me a lot about patience and love. sometimes, i couldn't understand why he cries in his sleep but i wish that i could take his sadness away. Leaving him every morning is painful to me because i wish i could stay home and be with him, but i have to earn a living. i know my Zareif would understand this. sometimes i was angry at him but then i thought to myself (after a longgg while) who am i to be angry at the innocent litle baby? he is a gift from Allah, the biggest amanah that i have to shoulder. I'm so sorry zarief.. Mummy loves you.. and i felt more guilty when i'm short tempered with him because all he wants is my attention after being away from mummy the whole day.. What's more when looking at his smile when i come home, the way his body jolts for me to take him in my arms, to kiss and hold him, to whisper in his little ears that'Mummy sayang Zarief sgt'.. How could I?
Forgive me Ya Allah.. I've sinned. Forgive mummy zarief for not being patient.
Mummy loves you no matter what.. Sungguh..
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